The elevator industry sure has its highs and lows.
I once dated an archaeologist, but she couldn't stop bringing up old stuff.
I used to have a soap addiction, but now I'm squeaky clean.
When that window crashed into the restaurant, it caused quite a commotion.
My buddy's bakery caught fire last night. His business is now nothing but crumbs.
I follow a see-food diet. If I see food, I eat it.
My girlfriend told me to quit acting like a flamingo so I stood my ground.
If you skip paying your exorcist, will evil spirits take over your body again?
A dentist and a manicurist got into a fight... they battled tooth and nail.
I worked as a shoe salesman before, but I couldn't make enough money to cover my expenses.
When you don't buy anything from the calendar factory, your time runs out.
I wrote a song about a tortilla once. It turned out to be more of a wrap.
After my buddy got fired from his bank job, he lost a ton of interest.
The cemetery seems packed... folks must be dying to get a spot.
Why are graveyards never full? Because people are dying to get in.
Why don't orphans play hide and seek? Because no one looks for them.
Why don't grave diggers ever feel stressed? Because they bury every problem.
What part of a vegetable is hardest to eat? The wheelchair.
Why don't graveyards need Wi-Fi? Because the connection is already underground.
What sets a snowman apart from a snowwoman? Snowballs.
