I told my wife to hug her mistakes... she hugged me.
The future, the present, and the past went to a bar. The situation got a bit tense.
I worked as a banker before, but I didn't care anymore.
Have you heard about the guy who lost his entire left side? He's okay now.
I'm checking out a book about anti-gravity. I can't stop reading it.
My math teacher said I was average. That's so mean!
I kept thinking why the ball grew bigger. Then I understood.
I know all the electricians... we share such good connections right now.
I know many jokes about retired folks... but not a single one works.
The guy who lived through pepper spray and mustard gas is now a battle-hardened soldier.
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked taken aback.
I once got so deep in debt that I couldn't even pay my electric bill. It was a gloomy period.
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days so far.
My boss told me to have a good day so I left for home.
The guy who lived through falling into a coffee grinder now breaks new ground.
The inventor of Velcro has passed away. May he rest in peace.
I asked the librarian if they had any books about paranoia. She leaned in and whispered, "They're right behind you."
I hurt my finger last week. On the other hand, I'm doing fine.
I never liked facial hair before... but it grew on me over time.
It's tough to top a hard-boiled egg for breakfast.
