Parallel lines share so many things… too bad they'll never cross paths.
Why do skeletons avoid fights? They lack the guts.
My boss said to have a good day, so I left for home.
I used to dislike facial hair… but then it grew on me.
What made the math book sad? It contained too many problems.
Why did the bike topple over? It was two-tired.
I'm reading an anti-gravity book. I can't put it down.
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd make each other crack up.
I'm buddies with all electricians — we share such lively connections.
Why did the scarecrow get a prize? He stood out in his field.
Have you heard about the guy who created Lifesavers? He made a mint.
I told my wife she drew her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
Why did the computer visit the doctor? It caught a bug.
Why are cows always broke? Farmers drain them dry.
I lay awake all night wondering where the sun went… then it dawned on me.
Why don't oysters give to charity? They're a little shellfish.
I hurt my finger last week, but on the bright side, I’m okay.
Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Why do bees have sticky hair? They use honeycombs.
