Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? It's fine, he woke up.
Why did the barber win the race? He took a shortcut.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
I'm on a seafood diet — I see food, and I eat it.
Why don't scientists trust atoms? They make up everything.
Why did the computer go to art school? It wanted to learn how to grab attention.
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They lack the guts.
What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese.
Why can't you trust stairs? They're always plotting something.
Why did the scarecrow receive a prize? He stood out in his field.
What did the large flower tell the tiny flower? "Hey, bud!"
Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't function.
Why don't oysters give to charity? Because they're shellfish.
How does a penguin construct its home? It glues it together.
Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they'd be bagels.
