Why are ghosts fond of elevators? They give their spirits a boost.
I gave my dog the name "5 miles" so I can tell people I walk 5 miles each day.
They claim laughter is the best cure... unless you're already dead.
Why do grave diggers love their jobs? They have a deep passion for it.
Why are graveyards such great places? Because you can rest in peace there.
Why don't graveyards need guards? The ghosts keep watch.
Why do grave diggers make terrible comedians? Their jokes never land.
Why do zombies never get lost? They always trust their gut.
I told my wife to hug her mistakes. She hugged me.
Vampires don't have mirrors. They hate to reflect on themselves.
Which room do skeletons like least? The living room.
Zombies never get stressed. They just rot away.
I asked the undertaker why he looked so beat. He said work is killing him.
Skeletons can't lie well. You can see right through them.
Grave diggers can't keep secrets. They always let things slip six feet under.
Ghosts never run out of money. They always work without pay.
My boss said to have a good day. I left work and went home.
I once dated a girl who dug graves. She was a keeper.
The skeleton skipped dinner. It lacked a stomach.
Teachers and trains differ. Teachers say, "Spit out that gum!" Trains go, "Chew! Chew!"
