I excel at doing multiple things at once. I can squander time, accomplish nothing, and put things off all together.
When you can't persuade them, puzzle them instead.
My wallet resembles an onion. I tear up when I open it.
I began with zero, and I've kept most of it intact.
Don't mock your partner's decisions... Remember, you're one of them.
A life without love is like a pencil with no point... useless.
I don't have a dad body. I possess a fatherly shape.
I asked my wife about her fancy outfit. She replied she's aiming to look perfect.
Why do scientists distrust atoms now? They create everything, including excuses.
People claim laughter heals best... except when you have the runs.
People claim laughter heals best... except when you have the runs.
My girlfriend complains I don't listen... I think that's what she said.
I told my wife her eyebrows looked too high. She seemed shocked.
My phone's battery outlasts most relationships these days.
Knock knock. Who's there? Love. Love who? Love you to the moon and back. 🌙
Knock knock. Who's there? Cow says. Cow says who? Cow says moooo! 🐮
Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Don't cry, this is just a joke! 😢😂
Knock knock. Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Let us in, it's cold outside! 🥶
Knock knock. Who's there? Tank. Tank who? You're welcome. 😉
Knock knock. Who's there? Atch. Atch who? Bless you! 🤧
