If Monday had a face I would punch it
I’m not lazy I just rest before I get tired
My superpower is making food disappear
I don’t sweat I sparkle under pressure
I’m not late I’m just on my own time zone
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes
I don’t trip over things I do random chaos testing
If I won the award for laziness I’d send someone to pick it up for me
I’m multitasking I can listen ignore and forget at the same time
I can resist everything except temptation
